Let’s be honest! You love the fact that you have children; you love your children! But then, on the other hand, you're also missing who you were before your kids. You're missing what you used to be able to do. You're missing the amount of time you'd used to spend with your horses. You're missing freedom. You're missing almost everything about your life pre-kids, and you don't know how to navigate all of those big, ugly emotions, and then the guilt that follows them, right, because the guilt is going to follow. I know that because I went through all of this.
Before having kids, nothing was holding me back. And I felt that I was finally becoming who I wanted to be. And then I had kids. And while I am, I was ecstatic about being pregnant, becoming a mom, and loving my children more than my life itself; I soon realized I had postpartum depression.
I found myself feeling lost because horses have always been my sanctuary. They have always been what has kept me grounded, kept me feeling sane and giving me that time to process and heal myself; they were my safe place. When you don't get out there as much, all of a sudden, I was feeling lost, confused, sad, depressed, angry and resentful. You name it, I thought it. That is not a fun place to be. I suffered for it and so did my spouse.
And it took a long time for me to recognize that I needed to take action, and I needed to do something about this because sitting in those overwhelming emotions wasn’t going to change anything.
At the time, I was doing what I could, which was neither right nor wrong. But then I realized that I had to do something different, learn something new, I needed to process, and I wanted to heal.
That's what started me down this journey. And so whatever you're feeling right now is okay! That's the first thing I need you to believe. I need you to believe there is nothing wrong with the emotions and thoughts rolling around in your head because I have felt and thought them too, and so have many others. That is the biggest thing you need to start with; you need to believe (maybe you don't believe that 100% right now, and that's okay) that there's nothing wrong with you.
That is going to be a first, beautiful step forward. Because if you believe that there's something wrong with you, that you are messed up, or a bad mom, that's going to stop you from taking the tiniest step forward. I challenge you just to sit back and think about what I'm sharing with you, and if you don't believe it now, believe it because I believe in you!
I promise you that there are thousands of other people in this exact same situation. The good news is, I’ve shared my way through it. I wanted to give everyone access to this in a free 30-day Transformation - Chomping at the Bit: Transition from Guilt to Freedom. I'd love to give all the details to you here but there is just so much goodness inside this transformation it's best to check it out there!