Fingers grasp the cool doorknob; one boot hits the step, then the other. The door closes firmly behind me as I push back, ensuring it’s latched.
A deep breath of cool fall air fills my lungs. I pause. I hear my kids inside playing with the sitter. A smile tugs at the corners of my lips, slowly making way for a big toothy grin.
It’s time! My time! As I walk out to the pasture, my gaze turns skyward as a flock of geese honk overhead, they’re flying low to the ground, and I know they’re heading to the water across the road. I close my eyes with the sun on my face and take another deep breath.
Freedom. Ace isn’t far now. His head rises from the grass as his ears prick in my direction. Hey buddy. Warmth fills my heart, it quickly spreads through my whole body, and I feel like I’m walking in an orb of warm golden joyfulness.
I’m home. Touching his neck, breathing deep into his shoulder and getting the biggest dopamine kick from his scent.
This is tranquillity. Ace sidesteps over to the fence to let me slide onto his back. We casually walk away from the herd, listening to the leaves fall gently to the ground while others crunch under hoof.
Deep inner calm. Sitting on Ace, I can’t believe I almost said no.
I almost allowed guilt, shame, overwhelm and stress to keep me trapped, small, exhausted and defeated.
Proud. Good boy, Ace. A gentle, loving rub on his damp neck as we finish our ride. Gratitude fills my heart as I see how far we’ve come.
Connection. Believing in myself. Connecting to my heart to know what I need. Trusting my soul to lead the way. Feeling more trust and connection to my horse than ever before.
Partnership. With peace in my heart and a gentle smile on my face, I grasp that cool doorknob once more and know in my soul I made the right decision.
It's my heart's prayer that you get to feel fulfilled and at ease with your time with horses, overcoming your struggles.Looking to connect with other horsewomen who are daring to Rise Up & Ride?
See you inside.
“I’ll just get in the way,” I kept thinking.
But first, let me paint the scene for you.
If you’ve never been to a branding pen, it's somewhat chaotic. The pen is shaped like a bottle, and the calves are on the large end where six to eight horses slowly walk among the calves looking for a shot to rope both back feet. Once a calf’s heels are roped, it is pulled by the horse and rider to one of three or four Nordforks steaked to the ground; a group of three or four people on the ground work alongside each Nordfork. Someone will place this Nordfork along the calf's neck where it fits behind its head, keeping it secure while the horse and rider keep the rope taught, preventing the calf from kicking the ground crew while it is branded, vaccinated and castrated. Once finished, the Nordfork is removed, and the calf is pulled out of the branding pen through the narrow alley to be reunited with its mom. The alley is under guard by horse and rider or ground grew to ensure the calf doesn’t run back in.
[both photo credit to Countrified Photography & Designs]
From the sidelines watching the branding pen, there can be moments of flow and efficiency and then times of panic. When you rope a calf accidentally by one leg, head, or belly, it starts to beller and run wildly about while the rider tries to maintain control of the horse, calf, and the rope connecting the two. This scenario usually causes everyone to scatter, trying to avoid being trampled.
I’m not an avid roper. After my rope horse sustained a bad injury and had two daughters, I have barely swung a rope over the past five years, but I longed to be a part of the fun. My husband kept asking if I wanted to give it a try, but I kept declining.
I wasn’t worried about looking like an idiot, but I was concerned about being in the way. There were also many calves to get through, so with every throw I missed, I would prevent another horse and rider duo from catching, thus slowing down the day, I thought.
Have you ever felt this way?
Found yourself sitting on the sidelines just to stay out of the way?
Let others have all the fun because you might just mess it up.
Luckily, I’ve been working on my mindset for quite a bit, and while I didn’t work up the nerve to participate on the first day of branding, near the end of day two, I bravely asked my husband if he would ride alongside me to give me pointers on my roping and just advice in general. If you know me, asking for help isn’t easy– but it is something I’m working on, especially with my husband.
Working through these feelings took time! For a while, I avoided them lying to myself by coming up with excuses. “Brad deserves to do this more than me.” “Brad will be angry if he has to watch the kids.” “People will get mad if I’m too slow.” “I’ll just get in the way.”
Eventually, I had to feel my feelings to understand my fears and reasons for why I wasn’t participating, and then I had to validate them. My concern about being in the way, getting hurt or hurting someone else is highly valid! Having a healthy respect for safety doesn’t make me a coward.
However, I am also capable and worthy of participating. I lacked confidence in myself and my abilities, selling myself short. I am just as important as everyone else in that pen; everyone was missing shots and encouraging others to take their time. My happiness matters just as much as theirs.
I don’t want my kids to sit on the sidelines growing up. I don’t want my girls to sit back and out of the way, worried their team will lose if they participate. I want my daughters to bravely jump in even if they are the least talented in the group. I want them to know they are worth it.
In the end, I roped two calves! Hearing my husband cheer me on made me grin ear to ear and feel proud that I was brave enough to try. I am pleased that I am showing my girls how to be courageous.
My happiness matters. I deserve to participate. My dreams are valid. I am worth it.
And so are you.
Rise Up & Ride, my friends,
Leanne
Riding after having babies is a challenge! Not only are we completely different humans; our brains work differently, our bodies are different, and our confidence might be less, but when it's hard to even get back into the saddle, it can feel really embarrassing.
First off - don't let anyone, and I mean anyone, shame you for your diminished strength, flexibility and grace. You have done an amazing thing carrying and delivering a baby; whether vaginally or c-section, the toll on our bodies is massive. It is to be expected that your core, flexibility and glutes will be stiff, sore and weaker. Yes, some women can 'bounce back' without missing a beat, but my friends...this isn't the norm, ok! So, stop comparing yourself to someone else, and stop letting anyone shame you. Be proud of getting back out there, my friend!
After the birth of each of my daughters, I can still remember the scary feeling that I almost couldn't get on; when I finally managed to get in the saddle, I felt sooooo top-heavy! Any quick movements from my horse had me flopping around like a dummy this way and that. (Ok, that might be an exaggeration, but that's what it felt like!)
I took a few exercise programs to start regaining strength in my body. I also walked to increase my stamina and focused on targeted muscles with each step. Tighten Glute with each step. Engage my core for 20 steps, relax for 10, and engage my core for 20. Tighten the thigh with each step. Walk on tiptoes. This was a fantastic starting point and often startled me by how much I would sweat and how much I could feel the effects afterwards.
Once I felt stronger walking, I knew I was ready to add in daily exercises. These 7 exercises helped me get back in the saddle after having kids. I loved how they were gentle, and encouraged a flat tummy, but I could quickly feel them changing my body for the better!
If you'd like to see a short video where I show a few demos, you can check that out here:
Here is a summary of the exercises that helped me the most!
1. Pelvic Tilt/Engage Core while laying on floor, knees bent
2. While your core is engaged in doing the above exercise, bend side to side to touch your heels
3. Hip thrusts while laying on the back with knees bent. The next step is when your core is raised, add in a bent leg lift
4. Plank - start with short times, and work your way up
5. Pushups - start with wall/ then hands-on bench knees floor, then standard "girl" pushups, then full pushups.
6. Squats - use a chair under your bum to assist you.
7. Step-ups onto a stable surface are also amazing and mimic getting on a horse a bit too. If using a chair, lean it against a wall and make sure it's not tippy!! Falling off hurts, trust me.
8. Bonus - Exercise ball sit: Engage your core and gently sway your hips side to side and front to back. Add in circles both ways. Perfect for watching your favourite TV show or working at a desk.
Disclaimer! I am not a doctor or physical therapist...take this advice as just that,.... advice from a momma of two who struggled to ride/get on my horse after having babies.
Like what you heard? Be sure to join Horsewomen Who Rise Up & Ride
2. While your core is engaged in doing the above exercise, bend side to side to touch your heels
3. Hip thrusts while laying on the back with knees bent. The next step is when your core is raised, add in a bent leg lift
4. Plank - start with short times, and work your way up
5. Pushups - start with wall/ then hands-on bench knees floor, then standard "girl" pushups, then full pushups.
6. Squats - use a chair under your bum to assist you.
7. Step-ups onto a stable surface are also amazing and mimic getting on a horse a bit too. If using a chair, lean it against a wall and make sure it's not tippy!! Falling off hurts, trust me.
8. Bonus - Exercise ball sit: Engage your core and gently sway your hips side to side and front to back. Add in circles both ways. Perfect for watching your favourite TV show or working at a desk.
Disclaimer! I am not a doctor or physical therapist...take this advice as just that,.... advice from a momma of two who struggled to ride/get on my horse after having babies.
Like what you heard? Be sure to join Horsewomen Who Rise Up & Ride
If you're looking for more one-on-one coaching to get you a stronger core, better flexibility and higher confidence, shoot me a message HERE!
